Numb

Haven’t updated in a while. I have nothing new to share, or at least, nothing exciting to share. I did switch fertility clinics because I moved states for my job. The new clinic is working me up from scratch before we proceed with another transfer. I have lots of little things “wrong” with me, but nothing big enough to account for all my miscarriages, so that’s frustrating. I was supposed to have a scope with endometrial biopsy, but then covid entered our world…

I’ve mainly been working from home, which is nice, although I have been going to the office from time to time. Even though my family planning is on pause for now, I am oddly calm about it. I just found out 5 new people were pregnant over the last 3 days, and who cares. People make jokes how in 9 months from now there are going to be a lot of babies born, and I shrug my shoulders. (would I love to be one of them? Of course! What are the chances of me being one of them? Probably low.) I’ve been through so much physically and emotionally that I feel like I used up all of my negative emotions.

I’m sure they will come back.

In the meantime, stay safe, be well, and please be extra considerate of yourself and others.

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